To the daughters of immigrant families,
Right now, your goals most likely revolve around education but as the daughter of an immigrant family, your life may seem predetermined by what your parents value, rather than your own will. When it comes to Chinese tradition, I get it and I have heard it all, but the worst one is: getting A’s is your responsibility, not an achievement. Once you hit a certain age, the fear of not being smart enough eventually morphs into the fear of not being eligible for marriage.
So this is my friendly reminder to you. The manifestation of your fears come and go with age, making it VITAL for you to remember that the finality of marriage should not be determined by temporary fears.
Societal pressure will try and make you believe that your wedding day has an expiration date, but marriage should not define your worth. Your worth is not determined by how soon you get married. You are not milk. You do not curdle once you have been kept too long in the fridge. Your worth is not terminated by an expiration date. Especially if that expiration date is set by tradition.
If you want to solely focus on your career, that is your decision to make. You should not be shamed for prioritizing work over a love life because the Earth does not stop spinning if you choose your own path over starting a family.
Your reputation is not so easily marred by relative’s chatter at the dinner table; do not allow the fear of scrutiny of stigma coax you out of choosing what you truly desire! Your success in life is no longer dictated by marriage, but by your own standards.