By Tiffany Mac
Graduating Lead Illustrator
PHOTO/ Tiffany Mac
Though I didn’t mention my brothers as much as I’d like in this article, they aren’t any less important to me. Thank you for being there for me, I love you guys.
My mom and I had very different upbringings: she was born in Vietnam, raised in China and took care of her siblings at a young age. I was born in the U.S., raised in the U.S. and had my older brothers taking care of me since I was little. Understandably, our personalities never really aligned, and we clashed when it came to our opinions and personal beliefs.
That’s not to say that I was ever ashamed of my mom. But I’ve often felt disillusioned watching my friends boast about their close-knit relationship with their moms, while I couldn’t remember the last time I had a proper conversation with mine. Comparing myself to my friends, I resented the fact that I had nothing interesting nor extraordinary about myself to tell her.
So the moment I became a freshman, I immediately registered for the only AP class I was allowed to take, AP Art History, and joined several clubs that struck my interest. While this trend continued over the years, I never mentioned the effort I put into school to my family. No matter what I did, I never believed I was doing enough to warrant praise from them, especially my mom.
Of course, this never improved our relationship as I hoped — instead, it damaged it. I was unhappy, yet I didn’t have the ability to express that feeling when I couldn’t even hold a proper conversation in Cantonese. My frustration soon morphed into anger, which I had unfairly directed towards my mom during moments of stress and confusion.
However, as I grew older, my frustration simmered down. I remind myself when I’m trying to understand my mom, she’s also doing the same. She isn’t fluent in English, neither am I in Cantonese. Yet, we’re both making an effort to understand one another.
I feel rather ashamed coming to this realization right before I enter college, especially since my mom has always been my #1 supporter since the day I was born. Maybe it’s because I’m still used to the benefit of being the youngest child (i.e. brothers who often spoil me), but I regret not fully appreciating the sacrifices she made giving me the best life that she could. She’s always patient with me, willing to take the time to understand my struggles at times where I believed no one cared to listen to me.
And naturally, I can’t forget my brothers Kevin, Shawn and Alex. In spite of our nearly decade-old age gap, they individually go out of their way to spend their time with me, and I’ve always felt loved under their care and guidance. I’m forever grateful for their support that helped me pave the way for my high school, and later, college career.
To my mom: We’ve never been the perfect mother-daughter pair. Communicating is hard, but making the effort to understand is harder. It takes time and an open mind to understand someone, especially if they’re generations younger. Your effort has not gone unnoticed, and as the years come I hope that we both continue to grow together.
Now that I’m entering the next stage of my life, I’m going to be two hours farther from my family. I won’t be able to eat the fruit my mom earnestly hand-cut, nor would I be able to walk to the grocery store my brother and I frequented. What feels like my daily life will soon boil down to the precious memories I treasure in the future, and it’s the realization that’s been burdening me as senior year nears its end. For now, as I’m writing this, these small little moments I make with my family are moments that I will hold dear to my heart.