Bullying. Harassment. Mistreatment. Whether it be in person, on Facebook or through text messages, we’ve all seen this behavior. It comes in all different forms: physical abuse, anonymous messages, name-calling or even the distribution of embarrassing or private material. However, there is something that all of these negative behaviors have in common: they often go ignored by bystanders.
Case in point: the recent rape and later suicide of 15-year-old Audrie Pott from Northern California. While attending a party, Pott was raped. To add further injury, the boys who assaulted Pott photographed her and sent it into cyberspace for everyone to see. As shocking as this behavior is, it isn’t even unique. In the last year, photos of rape victim 15-year-old Rehtaeh Parsons from Canada and another victim, a 16 year-old girl from Ohio, were callously distributed and seen by most of their peers. This cyber bullying led Parsons to commit suicide.
In each case, students who received the photos continued to pass them on to others. There were hundreds of chances for a student to speak up and report the abuse to an adult or the authorities or reach out to the victim and try to help. Instead, they let themselves become bystanders, thinking that it would be better for them to avoid conflict. People seem to assume that someone else will report it, so why should they bother? Sadly, if everyone assumes that someone else will do something to help, who will act? No one.
According to a study done by the Pew Internet Research Center in 2011, 95 percent of social media-using teens who have witnessed cruel behavior on social networking sites say they have seen others ignoring the mean behavior. The same study revealed that 21 percent say they have also joined in the harassment.
Not taking a stand is nothing new. In 1964, 28 year-old Kitty Genovese experienced this statistic not online, but on her way home. Neighbors could hear her screams and see her being stabbed, but no one intervened or even called the police. Genovese’s death might have been prevented if any one of the witnesses had helped. However, because many people fear becoming involved in situations that don’t directly affect them or believe someone else is responsible for intervening, unnecessary deaths such as those of Genovese, Parsons and Pott will continue to occur.
In the cases of Parsons and Pott, their suicides might have been prevented if they had received the support they needed after being raped instead of being further victimized. Rape victims often relive their trauma, ranging from nightmares to flashbacks, become depressed, avoid human contact and develop low self-esteem and a feeling of shame or disgust with themselves. Even without the additional trauma of cyber humiliation, these feelings can lead to suicide.
We can do better. Think about it; there’s a report button on Facebook for a reason. Its purpose is not for reporting people who criticize your favorite band or post an annoying status update every five minutes. You have the power to bring cruel, inappropriate photos to the attention of Facebook and try to get them removed as soon as possible.
At school, report bullying, harassment or just plain mean behavior. Talk to any victims and let them know that they aren’t alone. Give the compassion that they desperately need and deserve. Remind them that counselors and teachers are available to offer help and support to any student who is having a rough time. Don’t become a part of the problem; don’t be a bystander.