Surrounded by a crowd of students, a girl gasps in shock as a boy she met just recently presents flowers and a poster that says, “Will you take a chance with me at Winter Formal?” As she scans the growing crowd, many thoughts run through her head. Am I allowed to say no? Maybe I can just say yes now and tell him no later. Deciding on that option, she nods and opens her arms for the obligatory hug and picture.
Unfortunately, many people ignore the obvious reasons behind choosing not to ask someone to a dance publicly. For one, the girl is pressured into saying yes for fear of gaining a harsh reputation or humiliating the guy. And being forced to go to a dance with someone I would’ve preferred not to go with isn’t the worst part. I would be mortified to know that the only reason someone went to a dance with me was because he felt obligated or pitied me.
If the girl does end up rejecting the guy, they both face embarrassment. The girl will be continually questioned about her answer and the guy will be forced to take back the rejected flowers and endure the ridicule of his peers for the rest of the day.
Public asking also becomes impersonal very quickly. You can call me old fashioned, but you should show that you care when asking someone to a dance. Instead, public askings have become a way for people to hide behind a poster and bouquet and avoid expressing how they actually feel.
In fact, I see guys asking girls they don’t know very well most of the time, so the girl’s friends end up choosing the flowers or designing the poster. Because of this, public askings are often detached and lack meaningful details. Little personal things like asking a girl with her favorite flowers and candy are often overlooked.
Beyond that, posters have become so generic that they’re practically interchangeable, save for a clever pun created using a specific name. True, the posters might look better with ASBL designing them, but knowing that someone cared enough to put his time and thought into something would mean much more to me.
I can’t say that all public askings are awful because some are definitely adorable and successful. However, when a guy chooses a public proposal by default that requires minimal work on his part, it’s easy to see through. So next time you ask someone to a dance, keep it personal instead of public.