When you break up with someone, it’s natural to feel bad. I’m not just talking about romantic relationships, but also friendships. It’s especially difficult to separate with someone you’ve known for years and years. However, people are different, and it’s normal for people to grow apart. Yet, sometimes I find people battling against all odds to pretend to have something in common, when in reality it’s time to make new friends.
For instance, one of my friends often complains about how his friends never hang out together anymore. They’ve branched off and found new friends that they relate to. On one hand, I understand he misses his friends and wishes they were how they used to be. However, I always remind him to look at how different his friends have become. In actuality, neither party wanted to terminate the relationship, they just eventually grew apart. Neither should feel guilty; instead the memories should be tucked away to a happy place to reminisce. I’m not saying to abandon your friends, but it’s okay to stray from the people you’ve hung out with out of habit.
Occasionally, I also see the people that I used to be close friends with and I wish them well in my head. For certain friends, I’ve even managed to catch up with them and it gives me great joy to look at the friends that I’ve grown up with. It’s unrealistic to think that people will always be able to be friends as morals, priorities, and dreams evolve. Of course, you should try to maintain the relationship, but when it really becomes impossible, putting in incredible amounts of time won’t help anyway.
Thus, it is of utmost importance to consistently evaluate the relationship. The friends you are with should be people you can relate to and really understand you. Staying with people out of habit can lead to strain on both sides of the relationship.
You should be happier with that person and it should make you become a better individual. At the end of the day, are you more happy or sad? No one really knows except you. If other people seem to view your relationship negatively, think about it. If they’re wrong, know it and treasure the people you love. However, danger comes from blindly continuing because of the pattern that’s been in your life.
Don’t get stuck in an unhealthy relationship, make sure you recognize it early, and when it’s over, be grateful for the good times, but be happy that it’s over. Break ups usually aren’t one person’s fault anyway; both parties contribute to the final result.