Out with the toilets, in with the Juuls

After several months of pressure from students, the school board has officially decided to remove the toilets in all boy’s restrooms on campus as part of the process to turn them into Juul rooms.
Removals began during the PSAT, and are set to finish in ten years due to push backs from the pool remodeling. Students have responded positively to the announcement.
“I’m so glad this is finally happening,” said Senior Toby Acco. “I think the nationwide campaign of reinventing boy’s restrooms into Juul rooms is just as important as that of the #MeToo movement.”
Due to the expensive budget required to remove the toilets, the board does not plan on bringing port-a-potties to campus for students who need to use the restroom during school hours.
“The fact that I will never be able to use the restroom on campus again is a little concerning,” said psychology teacher Mr. Lav A. Tory, “but all the chemicals from the students’ Juuls help prevent me from worrying about it for too long.”
To promote the new change, the board has requested ASBL to implement Juul Day in the next spirit week.
“For so long, we’ve been opposed to vaping,” said Assistant Principal Ty Urd. “But so many of our students still vape anyway, so we’ve given up.”
Until the restrooms are fully transformed into juuling rooms, students are encouraged to vape openly in the quad during break, lunch, and between classes.
“At first, I found all the vapor in the air quite annoying,” said Freshman Vay P. Ing. “However, soon those addictive chemicals hit me, and now I’m a supporter of the change as well. I find it helpful to take a few toxic breaths of relaxation before my tests.”